Have you noticed yet that no one is ever happy? And those not-so-happy folks seem hell bent on making the rest of us miserable? If you’re perceived as too fat, you get things like, “Push yourself away from the table, Miss Piggy.” If you’re too thin, you get, “Eat a cheeseburger, girlie, before you blow away!” These are mild. I’ve been the recipient of much more hate than this, but I’m trying to be explicative without being mean.
TOO FAT
I’ve always been fat. I was a fat baby, a fatter kid, a fat tween and in high school I starved myself to comply with someone else’s judgment of how I should look. I got very sick. Didn’t matter. I LOOKED GOOD!!!! Of course, the weight came back on in a nanosecond with my first (diet) meal. Society and the ad industry has everyone conditioned to thinness. Obesity or even being a little chonky is determined to be a character flaw. Yes, many CAN lose weight. But if they don’t want to, why should they have to? If they can’t due to medical or metabolic reasons, they beat themselves up unmercifully until they end up on psych drugs that can often make the problem worse. Everything you see is designed to make you look slimmer, thinner, look like this asshat or that one. It’s taken me almost 70 years to ditch this mindset.
HEALTH
Let’s talk health and I’m sandwiching it in here for a reason. If you want to lose weight, go for it. If you don’t, go for that. If you NEED to lose weight for health reasons, go for it. I am not a member of the body positive or fat acceptance movements. I’m a member of the Be-The-Best-You-Can-Be Club. Yes, there are many conditions where a little less weight will help you conquer. Then take some off. If you are too thin and need a few pounds to be able to fight off your own problems or be stronger, then do your best. Your health should be your first consideration. If you knew how many times I’ve heard someone say, “I have Stage 4 cancer, but at least I’m finally thin.” Honey, if you have Stage 4 cancer, being thin should be the least of your worries.
TOO THIN
Granted, I have little to no experience with this, only through friends. I had a girlfriend through elementary school who could eat us all under the table and she was stick skinny. Her entire family was stick skinny. She was GENETICALLY thin. Yet she was teased right along with me, the fatty. She was called Boney Maroney, skeleton, broomstick and any other thin reference you can fathom. It never bothered her until we all started growing boobs & butts and she didn’t. THEN it bothered her. So what did she do? She ate more. Didn’t help. Now the insults hit home. She eventually DID develop, but not until her late teens, again, just like the rest of the women in her family. I have an adult friend who is 5’9″ tall and weighs 124. She is in her 50s now. She’s weighed 124 her entire adult life. She eats. Oh boy, does she eat. She wants curves. She wants to gain maybe 10-15 pounds. She’s tried everything. Doesn’t seem to be in the cards and, if you’re that thin by your 50s, there’s a good chance you’re not gonna gain much weight, if any.
STOP MAKING FUN OF PEOPLE’S SIZE
Nobody should be making fun of anyone because of their size, too much size or lack of size. It’s none of your damn business, number one. Number two, are you perfect? I’ve been around a long time and I can tell you that the perfect person doesn’t exist. And please don’t say Kim Kardashian. If you had her money and her surgeons you could look like that, too. And if you think that ass is natural, well. . . .as the song says. . . I’ve got some oceanfront property in Arizona for you.
SO JUST STOP IT!!!! I feel that one of the basic problems in our current world is a lack of kindness, not a lack or overabundance of size. People are people. I’m me and you’re you. Yeah, there are still times I wish I looked different. But basically, I’m adjusting to ME and learning to love her. I know you have your moments, too. It’s because of what’s wafted in our face every day. Social Media has made it worse, in my not so humble opinion. Lots of time and ways to look at what you aren’t, can’t have, etc. The problem is that 90% of that isn’t real.
YOU ARE ENOUGH!!!! Just the way you are. Let no one convince you differently.
I use this song a lot because it’s become my theme song. “For we are glorious!”