It’s April. It’s getting warm in many parts of the country. That means the dreaded swimsuit season is quickly approaching. Beaches, parks and lakes await. But. . . are you terrified of swimsuits? I know I used to be and, if I’m being totally honest, my heart still does a flip flop the first time I put one on for the season. So before you decide that you would rather have a root canal than try on a swimsuit, give me a minute, K?
DISCLAIMER: I sell swimsuits and, if you buy one from one of my links, I will make a small commission.
OLD LADY CALLING
BUT that’s not why I sell swimsuits. I’ve been trying to let women know that they now have OPTIONS and not just the black drapery swimdress. UGH All those beautiful swimsuits and the black drapes are still the ones that sell out first. Why? Because black is comforting. A swim dress is comforting. Not showing skin is comforting, especially when you think you have way too much of it. TO ME, a swimdress just screams OLD LADY!!!! I don’t care if you’re 19 or 99. . . . same call. Granted some have some shape and aren’t as matronly as most of them are. Still. . . . .it’s swimsuit season, NOT drapery season. Scarlett O’Hara looked good in the drapes. I don’t think I do.
WHAT’S YOUR WHY?
I guess it maybe comes down to why you’re going to the beach. If you’re 21 and hot-bodied (according to society) you may be going to show off what God gave you. I have no problem with that. But when this ‘ole gal goes to the beach, she’s going to enjoy the sun and maybe stick my toes in the ocean to remember the carefree days when I was a kid and didn’t worry about sharks. HAH!!!! So if you’re going to simply enjoy the sun and the atmosphere, why are you wrapping yourself up in black drapes? Now I’m not saying you have to wear a butt floss bikini if you’re a size 28. There are stylish options that don’t make you look like a nun.
THIS IS FOR ALL
I have a friend who is 5’9 and maybe 115 pounds. She wears black drapes to the beach every summer. Why? Tall and skinny, what society seems to love and. . . . she’s been teased for being flat-chested, no hips, no ass, you name it. So she finds black drapes in her size (NOT an easy feat) and hides herself because of what other folks will think and. . . . God forbid. . . . might say. Fear of swimsuit season affects us ALL, not just those of us who think we’re the size of a small hippo.
THEY’RE LOOKING AT THEIR PHONES, NOT YOU
But why are you REALLY wearing those black drapes? My guess is that, like my friend, you’re afraid of what others are going to say. You think they’re all staring at your flab or bones, whichever the case may be. Well, that may have been true before the advent of cell phones, but now? Trust me when I tell you they’re looking at their phones and NOT you.
A WHALE OF A TALE
When I was a young married woman (early to mid 70s), we went to the beach one day. I had on a modest one-piece swimsuit. It was a pretty shade of turquoise and didn’t show much of anything. Still, a bunch of smartass college guys took it upon themselves to follow me around yelling WHALE!!!! I was called a whale through much of 8th grade, so this taunting really got to me. And it almost got my husband arrested as he wanted to clean their clocks. We just left. I went home and cried. Now? I’m betting those guys wouldn’t be looking at my old carcass. Probably be sending dick pics to chicks on their phones. 😉
NOTE: I now have a 2-piece suit. No, NOT a bikini. It’s quite modest with maybe an inch of skin showing, IF THAT, in the middle. I have OLBS. . . . Old Lady Bladder Syndrome. I need to be able to get that suit down FAST so my suits HAVE to be 2 pieces. The joys of aging. 😎
BOTTOM LINE
If you really LIKE those black swim dresses, then by all means wear one. I don’t. I didn’t want to look like an old lady when I was 20, let alone at 70 when I AM an old lady. WEAR WHAT MAKES YOU COMFORTABLE!!!! But if you are jonesing for a more stylish swimsuit, you DO have options. And you don’t have to flash people either. Add an anklet and a bracelet or two, some nice earrings and. . . . you’ll be stylin’ just like everyone else. . . . you know, the ones sitting on their beach towel staring at their phones!!!!
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If you’d like to check out ALL sizes and ALL styles of swimsuits, use this link. When the front page opens, click on CLOTHING & LIFESTYLE, then WOMEN’S CLOTHING. Then scroll down to SHOP SWIMWEAR. You will see tons of great suits. And on this site there is ALWAYS FREE U.S. SHIPPING!!!! tran-scend.com/peaceful
👙This is the quintessential swimsuit song. I’m using this black and white clip to make it clear that this was a LONG LONG TIME AGO. What they called an itsy-bitsy bikini would be a full coverage suit now!!!!👙