Carla

Swimsuit Season

 General, Minor Rant, Thoughts  No Responses »
Apr 072023
 

It’s April. It’s getting warm in many parts of the country. That means the dreaded swimsuit season is quickly approaching. Beaches, parks and lakes await. But. . . are you terrified of swimsuits? I know I used to be and, if I’m being totally honest, my heart still does a flip flop the first time I put one on for the season. So before you decide that you would rather have a root canal than try on a swimsuit, give me a minute, K?

DISCLAIMER: I sell swimsuits and, if you buy one from one of my links, I will make a small commission.

OLD LADY CALLING

BUT that’s not why I sell swimsuits. I’ve been trying to let women know that they now have OPTIONS and not just the black drapery swimdress. UGH All those beautiful swimsuits and the black drapes are still the ones that sell out first. Why? Because black is comforting. A swim dress is comforting. Not showing skin is comforting, especially when you think you have way too much of it. TO ME, a swimdress just screams OLD LADY!!!! I don’t care if you’re 19 or 99. . . . same call. Granted some have some shape and aren’t as matronly as most of them are. Still. . . . .it’s swimsuit season, NOT drapery season. Scarlett O’Hara looked good in the drapes. I don’t think I do.

WHAT’S YOUR WHY?

I guess it maybe comes down to why you’re going to the beach. If you’re 21 and hot-bodied (according to society) you may be going to show off what God gave you. I have no problem with that. But when this ‘ole gal goes to the beach, she’s going to enjoy the sun and maybe stick my toes in the ocean to remember the carefree days when I was a kid and didn’t worry about sharks. HAH!!!! So if you’re going to simply enjoy the sun and the atmosphere, why are you wrapping yourself up in black drapes? Now I’m not saying you have to wear a butt floss bikini if you’re a size 28. There are stylish options that don’t make you look like a nun.

THIS IS FOR ALL

I have a friend who is 5’9 and maybe 115 pounds. She wears black drapes to the beach every summer. Why? Tall and skinny, what society seems to love and. . . . she’s been teased for being flat-chested, no hips, no ass, you name it. So she finds black drapes in her size (NOT an easy feat) and hides herself because of what other folks will think and. . . . God forbid. . . . might say. Fear of swimsuit season affects us ALL, not just those of us who think we’re the size of a small hippo.

THEY’RE LOOKING AT THEIR PHONES, NOT YOU

But why are you REALLY wearing those black drapes? My guess is that, like my friend, you’re afraid of what others are going to say. You think they’re all staring at your flab or bones, whichever the case may be. Well, that may have been true before the advent of cell phones, but now? Trust me when I tell you they’re looking at their phones and NOT you.

A WHALE OF A TALE

When I was a young married woman (early to mid 70s), we went to the beach one day. I had on a modest one-piece swimsuit. It was a pretty shade of turquoise and didn’t show much of anything. Still, a bunch of smartass college guys took it upon themselves to follow me around yelling WHALE!!!! I was called a whale through much of 8th grade, so this taunting really got to me. And it almost got my husband arrested as he wanted to clean their clocks. We just left. I went home and cried. Now? I’m betting those guys wouldn’t be looking at my old carcass. Probably be sending dick pics to chicks on their phones. 😉

NOTE: I now have a 2-piece suit. No, NOT a bikini. It’s quite modest with maybe an inch of skin showing, IF THAT, in the middle. I have OLBS. . . . Old Lady Bladder Syndrome. I need to be able to get that suit down FAST so my suits HAVE to be 2 pieces. The joys of aging. 😎

BOTTOM LINE

If you really LIKE those black swim dresses, then by all means wear one. I don’t. I didn’t want to look like an old lady when I was 20, let alone at 70 when I AM an old lady. WEAR WHAT MAKES YOU COMFORTABLE!!!! But if you are jonesing for a more stylish swimsuit, you DO have options. And you don’t have to flash people either. Add an anklet and a bracelet or two, some nice earrings and. . . . you’ll be stylin’ just like everyone else. . . . you know, the ones sitting on their beach towel staring at their phones!!!!

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If you’d like to check out ALL sizes and ALL styles of swimsuits, use this link. When the front page opens, click on CLOTHING & LIFESTYLE, then WOMEN’S CLOTHING. Then scroll down to SHOP SWIMWEAR. You will see tons of great suits. And on this site there is ALWAYS FREE U.S. SHIPPING!!!! tran-scend.com/peaceful

👙This is the quintessential swimsuit song. I’m using this black and white clip to make it clear that this was a LONG LONG TIME AGO. What they called an itsy-bitsy bikini would be a full coverage suit now!!!!👙

Feel Better With Budget Skincare and Makeup

 General, Good Advice, This or That  No Responses »
Oct 082022
 

Many people tell me they want to take care of their skin. Some want to use makeup, too. Let’s face it. If we look better, we FEEL better. But if it’s a choice between food for your kids or a nice foundation. . . well, it’s actually no choice at all. I’m going to give you some really inexpensive alternatives to the price of skin care and makeup, which has skyrocketed.

What I Can Offer You

I’m gonna toot my own horn. I have three lines that I work with. I’ll put the links here with a disclaimer that if you purchase from any of these links I will receive a commission.

Farmasi  
Lemongrass Spa
Tran.scend

These three are a bit pricey, but all excellent quality. They DO go on sale so if you want to hear about sales, let me know. However, the purpose of this post is to find you stuff that works on the cheap. So here we go. (NOTE: I can’t “capture” a lot of these pics so look for the links to take you right to the product.)

From here on down, I am not affiliated with ANY of this and make nothing from it. Just sayin’. . .

Skincare

Simple skincare. You have to cleanse and moisturize. An all-purpose go-to is Coconut Oil; in particular, Fractionated Coconut Oil (liquid). I use it for everything, including diluting my essential oils. But it will take ALL of your makeup off and moisturize your face, too. This is the one I use from Amazon. It’s $15.99/bottle, but it will last you FOREVER. Used to be $12, but that was then and this is now. UGH

Jojoba Oil is another good choice, but that has shot up in price, too.  The bottle that used to cost $6 is now $9. Again, lasts a LONG time. This is the one I’ve used in the past. Also good for diluting essential oils, too. Note, this bottle is much smaller than the Fractionated Coconut Oil.

Witch Hazel. This is an old-fashioned remedy for everything, but it’s excellent for your skin. I can’t get the picture from the Wally website, but the Equate brand at Walmart (house brand) is only $2.52. It used to be 99 cents/bottle. Seems to last forever. It’s also good for cuts, scrapes, sunburn and many other household uses. You can Google it to see all its benefits.

So. . . take off your makeup with the coconut oil, get some cotton pads in the dollar store and run a few with Witch Hazel over your face and then put some coconut oil back on as a moisturizer. May not be the best regimen in town, but it DOES work and will keep your skin pretty healthy.

Makeup Shop Miss A

Now for some fun. I found this wonderful site called Shop Miss A. Everything USED TO BE $1. Yeah, you know the used to be thing, right? The good news is that most products are still very reasonable, between $1 and $2. There are other things that are more expensive like sunglasses, jewelry, etc., but overall this a marvelous site. I think they give you free shipping over $35. When everything was $1, it took me eons to fill that cart to $35. Never thought I’d have a problem filling a cart. 😂

In my NOT so humble opinion, this is one of the best el cheapo primers out there. It’s called No Pore Face Primer and it really gives you a smooth finish under makeup. I can give you a personal recommendation on this one. $1.88

Foundation is the one thing I will spend big bucks on. But if you don’t have it, there ARE alternatives. This is the AOA Drop Foundation. Tons of colors. I’ve used it and it’s not half bad. $1.88

This is the Lumi Blush compact. Again, not half bad for something that’s still $1.

These are only a few examples. They have EVERYTHING on this site and I mean EVERYTHING. Note that products branded AOA are the house brand. Of all the things I’ve purchased, I’ve liked those the best. That’s not to say there’s something wrong with the other brands they carry, but I feel the AOA is the best on the site.

Shop Miss A is cruelty free and most products are vegan. The owner has said she won’t offer products that aren’t cruelty free and AOA doesn’t use ingredients that are tested on animals either. This is something very important to me as I’m a crusader against animal cruelty, including testing. I check out any company before I purchase.  The status changes so you have to check frequently online. I used to love Urban Decay and then found out they tested on animals, so no more UD. Then, out of the blue, they stopped a year or so ago. One of the most well-known makeup brands in the world is Charlotte Tillbury. They used to be cruelty free. Then they were purchased by a company who is not, so. . . as I said, you have to keep checking back.

Other Makeup

Again, I will only use cruelty free products so I research. Surprisingly, some of the brands you find in drugstores and dollar stores are cruelty free. NYX and Milani are. One of my fave things in the Dollar Store is makeup from L.A. Colors. Granted, many of these are sample sizes or limited colors as I’m sure they take seconds and surplus. But I’ve gotten many and they’re good. Believe it or not, that good ‘ole cheap fallback, Wet n Wild, is cruelty free AND vegan. This is usually the least expensive brand in the drugstore, so check them out, too.

Is Better Skincare & Makeup Better?

Yeah, it is. The difference isn’t in the actual ingredients, but the quality of those ingredients. For instance, eyeshadow. Eyeshadow is made up of a pigment and talc with something to glue it together. It’s the quality of those ingredients, especially the talc, that affects the price. Sure, some of it is the name on the label, too. But the quality of talc you get in a $1 product is much less than if you pay $25 for that same type of product. I’m allergic to all kinds of stuff, so I have to be careful. The items I’ve listed above and provided links to are things I’ve personally used and didn’t react to.

Whatcha Waitin’ For?

You don’t HAVE to wear makeup, but you DO have to take care of your skin. If you’re one of those gurlies who uses a bar of Dove soap and it works for you, then go for it. It’s not the best thing in town, but. . . if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

BOTTOM LINE: I love good skincare and makeup, but I’ve been in the position where I can’t afford them. . . many times. If you’re in that position right now, I hope I’ve given you some alternatives that will work for you. Stay strong, because. . .

No photo description available.

 

 

Less Than. . . .Not Pretty/Handsome Enough

 General, Less Than, Minor Rant  No Responses »
Sep 202022
 

When I was a little girl people would always say something to me along the lines of, “Sweetie, you have such a great mind and personality.” And even at that tender age I knew that it translated to, “You better study hard, kiddo, cause you ain’t gonna make it on your looks.” Especially when the other little girls were getting cooed over and told how pretty they were. I NEVER heard that pretty word. It was usually how smart I was for my age. Oh, I was smart, for sure, and I got the meaning right quick: UGLEE!!!!

So if you feel less than because of your face, let’s delve into that a bit. My first question would be. . . .

BY WHOSE STANDARDS?

Pretty or handsome a few hundred years ago was different than it was in the ancient world and it’s different now than it was even 10-20 years ago. So if someone makes a disparaging remark about your looks, whose standard are they using? I mean, if we’re all being judged by the standard of Kim Kardashian. . .sultry and T&A (enhanced). . . or Taylor Swift. . .  tall, skinny & blonde. . . many of us are NOT gonna measure up.

EVERYONE HAS A PERSONAL PREFERENCE

One of the hottest men out there right now is Jason Momoa. Know what I think about Jason? Yeah, but basically MEH. He just doesn’t do anything for me. I never conformed to the masses when it came to male and/or female beauty. I was always the class clown so my criteria in a friend was someone who could make me laugh my rather sizeable ass off. And beauty DOES fade. There better be something in that brain if you’re gonna last for a long, long time. I just had my 50th wedding anniversary and Ray and I can still talk about anything and everything. And neither one of us looks like we did on that day oh so long ago. So bear in mind that everyone prefers one look over another and there’s not much you can do about it.

WHY DO YOU CARE?

Why does someone’s opinion of you matter so much? Especially those that you don’t know. Many of you know that I’ve been posting a lot of pics of me lately in my ongoing attempt to accept myself once and for all. I get some pretty rude comments. I simply delete and block. Up to a few years ago, I would have cried for days and never posted another pic. Why? I was never looking for a career ruled by looks as in being a model or an airline stewardess/steward or anything else where your face/body is part of your resume. Never had an urge to try my luck in Hollywood or on any other stage. So why does it matter what I look like?

In my case, it was my mother constantly telling me I was fat and ugly. It colored everything. But as I age into the last part of my life. . . why does it matter? I know I’m not ugly. Fat, yeah, well. . . but I’m okay. And okay is. . . well, OKAY!!!!

Anything anyone says about you is simply their opinion. You DO you know about opinions, don’t you? (Sorry/not sorry for being gross here.) “Opinions are like assholes. Everybody’s got one.”

THE ORIGINAL YOU IS BETTER THAN A COPY OF ANYONE

There are so many wannabe movie stars, models, rappers, influencers, you name it in this world. Do we need one more? HELL NO!!!! Do we need YOU, your authentic self? HELL YES!!!! Why be a second rate copy of someone else when you, yourself and YOU are the best thing going? Are those people everyone is trying to emulate good looking? Yes, they are. Are they smart? Well, some are, I’m sure. Are any of them attempting to save the world? Again, maybe some are, but all I seem to read about is their newest car, home, expensive wardrobe, trip overseas, mega-expensive beauty treatment, etc. etc. etc. ad nauseam. ME ME ME!!!! That’s their battle cry. It’s not mine and I hope it’s not yours either.

The world needs YOU and ME to be exactly who we are, our BEST self. We’re the ones who are going to make a difference. And it doesn’t matter what our face looks like in the mirror. Do your best on that face. If you want to wear makeup, wear it. If you don’t, don’t. Take the best care of it you can. And then go out and show ’em your stuff!!!!

 

17 to 70. . . hair is gray and lots more wrinkles, but. . . it’s ME!!!!

 

There’s Always A Choice

 General, Good Advice  No Responses »
Sep 152022
 

There is a wildly popular podcast out there by Bailey Sarian. It’s called “Murder, Mystery & Makeup.” Basically, Bailey puts on her stunning makeup while she tells the story of a spectacular murder case. She always signs off with “MAKE GOOD CHOICES.” It’s good advice but, many times, not so easy to do. Choices can be tough. What is a choice? Basically, it means you have to make a decision. UGH But it also means you aren’t stuck. If there’s a choice, there’s an alternative. You get to choose.

Choices

Here’s an example of a choice.  What you wear and how you wear it is creating an optical illusion about how you look. So. . . I’m short and dumpy. NOT downing myself. It’s just true. I have very short legs and a long body. Due to over 30 abdominal surgeries, I also have this jihugic gut I love to call Jabba, as in Jabba the Gut. 😎 Some call it a FUPA. I just call it Jabba. This thing is very hard to hide, so I had to make the CHOICE to either (1) wear long baggy stuff to hide Jabba or (2) say the hell with it and make a choice that makes my legs look more balanced with the rest of me. Choice No. 1 hides him, but it also makes me look frumpy & dumpy. It’s too much fabric for me. I’m barely 5′ tall on a good day. So I choose Option No. 2, which is to wear shorter tops to make my legs look longer. Does that mean Jabba really shows out on occasion? Sure does! I get many private messages when I post pics telling me how I can hide my gut. Yep, I know all that. But I made a choice. I’m happy with it.

How Do You Choose?

That’s personal. But. . . you have to weigh what’s most important to you against what you think you SHOULD do. Do you know how much I hate that word SHOULD? I have lived my life doing what I was told to do or what I SHOULD do or what others think is the way I SHOULD go. ME was always discounted. I always thought I was an independent woman, but I listened to others way too much. And it hurt. Why? Because I went against what I knew was best for me. I shouldn’t have to tell you this, but you know you better than anyone else. So. . . how do you choose?

I’m big on lists. So I lay down what I THINK I should do on one side of the page and then what I WANT to do on the other. And then I attempt to balance the two. The difference now vs. then is that I put more weight on what I WANT to do these days.

But What If I Make The Wrong Choice?

I make wrong choices all the time. But you know what? In most cases they aren’t permanent. In the above example, if I decide that short top looks horrid on me and I no longer want to wear it, it goes in a donation bag and I get a longer shirt. No biggie. It’s like a goal. You can always modify and choose again. Even something as semi-permanent as moving because you don’t like where you are. When your lease is up, pack up and go. Sell that house if you made a buying mistake. You always have a choice. If it’s wrong, change it. If it’s not exactly wrong but you’re not happy, modify it.

And In The End

When I was a younger lass I selected an option and ran with it. Not a good one? I would change it or modify it. No problem. Now in my older years I’m the undisputed Queen 👑 of Overthinking. I have to run through every possible consequence that will come from any choice I finally make. It drives me nuts. So. . . I’m back to trying to be like the younger me. Make a choice and run with it. Because. . .

You basically have two choices. You either do it or you don’t. Make good choices.

I heard this song quite by accident and. . . it fits!!!! Or should I have chosen another one? 😉

Less Than. . . . Too Fat/Too Thin

 General, Less Than  No Responses »
Sep 132022
 

Have you noticed yet that no one is ever happy? And those not-so-happy folks seem hell bent on making the rest of us miserable? If you’re perceived as too fat, you get things like, “Push yourself away from the table, Miss Piggy.” If you’re too thin, you get, “Eat a cheeseburger, girlie, before you blow away!” These are mild. I’ve been the recipient of much more hate than this, but I’m trying to be explicative without being mean.

TOO FAT

I’ve always been fat. I was a fat baby, a fatter kid, a fat tween and in high school I starved myself to comply with someone else’s judgment of how I should look. I got very sick. Didn’t matter. I LOOKED GOOD!!!! Of course, the weight came back on in a nanosecond with my first (diet) meal. Society and the ad industry has everyone conditioned to thinness. Obesity or even being a little chonky is determined to be a character flaw. Yes, many CAN lose weight. But if they don’t want to, why should they have to? If they can’t due to medical or metabolic reasons, they beat themselves up unmercifully until they end up on psych drugs that can often make the problem worse. Everything you see is designed to make you look slimmer, thinner, look like this asshat or that one. It’s taken me almost 70 years to ditch this mindset.

HEALTH

Let’s talk health and I’m sandwiching it in here for a reason. If you want to lose weight, go for it. If you don’t, go for that. If you NEED to lose weight for health reasons, go for it. I am not a member of the body positive or fat acceptance movements. I’m a member of the Be-The-Best-You-Can-Be Club. Yes, there are many conditions where a little less weight will help you conquer. Then take some off. If you are too thin and need a few pounds to be able to fight off your own problems or be stronger, then do your best. Your health should be your first consideration. If you knew how many times I’ve heard someone say, “I have Stage 4 cancer, but at least I’m finally thin.” Honey, if you have Stage 4 cancer, being thin should be the least of your worries.

TOO THIN

Granted, I have little to no experience with this, only through friends. I had a girlfriend through elementary school who could eat us all under the table and she was stick skinny. Her entire family was stick skinny. She was GENETICALLY thin. Yet she was teased right along with me, the fatty. She was called Boney Maroney, skeleton, broomstick and any other thin reference you can fathom. It never bothered her until we all started growing boobs & butts and she didn’t. THEN it bothered her. So what did she do? She ate more. Didn’t help. Now the insults hit home. She eventually DID develop, but not until her late teens, again, just like the rest of the women in her family. I have an adult friend who is 5’9″ tall and weighs 124. She is in her 50s now. She’s weighed 124 her entire adult life. She eats. Oh boy, does she eat. She wants curves. She wants to gain maybe 10-15 pounds. She’s tried everything. Doesn’t seem to be in the cards and, if you’re that thin by your 50s, there’s a good chance you’re not gonna gain much weight, if any.

STOP MAKING FUN OF PEOPLE’S SIZE

Nobody should be making fun of anyone because of their size, too much size or lack of size. It’s none of your damn business, number one. Number two, are you perfect? I’ve been around a long time and I can tell you that the perfect person doesn’t exist. And please don’t say Kim Kardashian. If you had her money and her surgeons you could look like that, too. And if you think that ass is natural, well. . . .as the song says. . . I’ve got some oceanfront property in Arizona for you.

SO JUST STOP IT!!!! I feel that one of the basic problems in our current world is a lack of kindness, not a lack or overabundance of size. People are people. I’m me and you’re you. Yeah, there are still times I wish I looked different. But basically, I’m adjusting to ME and learning to love her. I know you have your moments, too. It’s because of what’s wafted in our face every day. Social Media has made it worse, in my not so humble opinion. Lots of time and ways to look at what you aren’t, can’t have, etc. The problem is that 90% of that isn’t real.

YOU ARE ENOUGH!!!! Just the way you are. Let no one convince you differently.

I use this song a lot because it’s become my theme song. “For we are glorious!”

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