Swimsuit Season

 General, Minor Rant, Thoughts  No Responses »
Apr 072023
 

It’s April. It’s getting warm in many parts of the country. That means the dreaded swimsuit season is quickly approaching. Beaches, parks and lakes await. But. . . are you terrified of swimsuits? I know I used to be and, if I’m being totally honest, my heart still does a flip flop the first time I put one on for the season. So before you decide that you would rather have a root canal than try on a swimsuit, give me a minute, K?

DISCLAIMER: I sell swimsuits and, if you buy one from one of my links, I will make a small commission.

OLD LADY CALLING

BUT that’s not why I sell swimsuits. I’ve been trying to let women know that they now have OPTIONS and not just the black drapery swimdress. UGH All those beautiful swimsuits and the black drapes are still the ones that sell out first. Why? Because black is comforting. A swim dress is comforting. Not showing skin is comforting, especially when you think you have way too much of it. TO ME, a swimdress just screams OLD LADY!!!! I don’t care if you’re 19 or 99. . . . same call. Granted some have some shape and aren’t as matronly as most of them are. Still. . . . .it’s swimsuit season, NOT drapery season. Scarlett O’Hara looked good in the drapes. I don’t think I do.

WHAT’S YOUR WHY?

I guess it maybe comes down to why you’re going to the beach. If you’re 21 and hot-bodied (according to society) you may be going to show off what God gave you. I have no problem with that. But when this ‘ole gal goes to the beach, she’s going to enjoy the sun and maybe stick my toes in the ocean to remember the carefree days when I was a kid and didn’t worry about sharks. HAH!!!! So if you’re going to simply enjoy the sun and the atmosphere, why are you wrapping yourself up in black drapes? Now I’m not saying you have to wear a butt floss bikini if you’re a size 28. There are stylish options that don’t make you look like a nun.

THIS IS FOR ALL

I have a friend who is 5’9 and maybe 115 pounds. She wears black drapes to the beach every summer. Why? Tall and skinny, what society seems to love and. . . . she’s been teased for being flat-chested, no hips, no ass, you name it. So she finds black drapes in her size (NOT an easy feat) and hides herself because of what other folks will think and. . . . God forbid. . . . might say. Fear of swimsuit season affects us ALL, not just those of us who think we’re the size of a small hippo.

THEY’RE LOOKING AT THEIR PHONES, NOT YOU

But why are you REALLY wearing those black drapes? My guess is that, like my friend, you’re afraid of what others are going to say. You think they’re all staring at your flab or bones, whichever the case may be. Well, that may have been true before the advent of cell phones, but now? Trust me when I tell you they’re looking at their phones and NOT you.

A WHALE OF A TALE

When I was a young married woman (early to mid 70s), we went to the beach one day. I had on a modest one-piece swimsuit. It was a pretty shade of turquoise and didn’t show much of anything. Still, a bunch of smartass college guys took it upon themselves to follow me around yelling WHALE!!!! I was called a whale through much of 8th grade, so this taunting really got to me. And it almost got my husband arrested as he wanted to clean their clocks. We just left. I went home and cried. Now? I’m betting those guys wouldn’t be looking at my old carcass. Probably be sending dick pics to chicks on their phones. 😉

NOTE: I now have a 2-piece suit. No, NOT a bikini. It’s quite modest with maybe an inch of skin showing, IF THAT, in the middle. I have OLBS. . . . Old Lady Bladder Syndrome. I need to be able to get that suit down FAST so my suits HAVE to be 2 pieces. The joys of aging. 😎

BOTTOM LINE

If you really LIKE those black swim dresses, then by all means wear one. I don’t. I didn’t want to look like an old lady when I was 20, let alone at 70 when I AM an old lady. WEAR WHAT MAKES YOU COMFORTABLE!!!! But if you are jonesing for a more stylish swimsuit, you DO have options. And you don’t have to flash people either. Add an anklet and a bracelet or two, some nice earrings and. . . . you’ll be stylin’ just like everyone else. . . . you know, the ones sitting on their beach towel staring at their phones!!!!

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If you’d like to check out ALL sizes and ALL styles of swimsuits, use this link. When the front page opens, click on CLOTHING & LIFESTYLE, then WOMEN’S CLOTHING. Then scroll down to SHOP SWIMWEAR. You will see tons of great suits. And on this site there is ALWAYS FREE U.S. SHIPPING!!!! tran-scend.com/peaceful

👙This is the quintessential swimsuit song. I’m using this black and white clip to make it clear that this was a LONG LONG TIME AGO. What they called an itsy-bitsy bikini would be a full coverage suit now!!!!👙

Less Than. . . .Not Pretty/Handsome Enough

 General, Less Than, Minor Rant  No Responses »
Sep 202022
 

When I was a little girl people would always say something to me along the lines of, “Sweetie, you have such a great mind and personality.” And even at that tender age I knew that it translated to, “You better study hard, kiddo, cause you ain’t gonna make it on your looks.” Especially when the other little girls were getting cooed over and told how pretty they were. I NEVER heard that pretty word. It was usually how smart I was for my age. Oh, I was smart, for sure, and I got the meaning right quick: UGLEE!!!!

So if you feel less than because of your face, let’s delve into that a bit. My first question would be. . . .

BY WHOSE STANDARDS?

Pretty or handsome a few hundred years ago was different than it was in the ancient world and it’s different now than it was even 10-20 years ago. So if someone makes a disparaging remark about your looks, whose standard are they using? I mean, if we’re all being judged by the standard of Kim Kardashian. . .sultry and T&A (enhanced). . . or Taylor Swift. . .  tall, skinny & blonde. . . many of us are NOT gonna measure up.

EVERYONE HAS A PERSONAL PREFERENCE

One of the hottest men out there right now is Jason Momoa. Know what I think about Jason? Yeah, but basically MEH. He just doesn’t do anything for me. I never conformed to the masses when it came to male and/or female beauty. I was always the class clown so my criteria in a friend was someone who could make me laugh my rather sizeable ass off. And beauty DOES fade. There better be something in that brain if you’re gonna last for a long, long time. I just had my 50th wedding anniversary and Ray and I can still talk about anything and everything. And neither one of us looks like we did on that day oh so long ago. So bear in mind that everyone prefers one look over another and there’s not much you can do about it.

WHY DO YOU CARE?

Why does someone’s opinion of you matter so much? Especially those that you don’t know. Many of you know that I’ve been posting a lot of pics of me lately in my ongoing attempt to accept myself once and for all. I get some pretty rude comments. I simply delete and block. Up to a few years ago, I would have cried for days and never posted another pic. Why? I was never looking for a career ruled by looks as in being a model or an airline stewardess/steward or anything else where your face/body is part of your resume. Never had an urge to try my luck in Hollywood or on any other stage. So why does it matter what I look like?

In my case, it was my mother constantly telling me I was fat and ugly. It colored everything. But as I age into the last part of my life. . . why does it matter? I know I’m not ugly. Fat, yeah, well. . . but I’m okay. And okay is. . . well, OKAY!!!!

Anything anyone says about you is simply their opinion. You DO you know about opinions, don’t you? (Sorry/not sorry for being gross here.) “Opinions are like assholes. Everybody’s got one.”

THE ORIGINAL YOU IS BETTER THAN A COPY OF ANYONE

There are so many wannabe movie stars, models, rappers, influencers, you name it in this world. Do we need one more? HELL NO!!!! Do we need YOU, your authentic self? HELL YES!!!! Why be a second rate copy of someone else when you, yourself and YOU are the best thing going? Are those people everyone is trying to emulate good looking? Yes, they are. Are they smart? Well, some are, I’m sure. Are any of them attempting to save the world? Again, maybe some are, but all I seem to read about is their newest car, home, expensive wardrobe, trip overseas, mega-expensive beauty treatment, etc. etc. etc. ad nauseam. ME ME ME!!!! That’s their battle cry. It’s not mine and I hope it’s not yours either.

The world needs YOU and ME to be exactly who we are, our BEST self. We’re the ones who are going to make a difference. And it doesn’t matter what our face looks like in the mirror. Do your best on that face. If you want to wear makeup, wear it. If you don’t, don’t. Take the best care of it you can. And then go out and show ’em your stuff!!!!

 

17 to 70. . . hair is gray and lots more wrinkles, but. . . it’s ME!!!!

 

Appearance, Appearance, Appearance

 General, Good Advice, Minor Rant  No Responses »
Aug 252022
 

The real estate world says the #1 rule for the desirability of a property is LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION. Well, if you haven’t already figured it out, much of what you can get in our superficial society is based on APPEARANCE, APPEARANCE, APPEARANCE.

This is NOT me pushing my appearance insecurities onto you. Nope. They have studies. If you look hot (male or female), your You Tube, Instagram, Tik Tok channel or what have you will grow at an exponential rate over those of us who don’t look like what society calls hot, attractive, gorgeous, sexy or any other word of your choice.  It’s just a fact of life.

Oh, there is one other way to succeed over us mere mortals and that’s to have something really unique, some shtick that you can use to market your goods or photos or whatever. It has to be REALLY different, though, as so much has been tried already. And if you are not what society calls HOT, you can bet your successful channel will be filled with haters who love to pick on people for their appearance. If you have something really new and different and this doesn’t bother you, go for it!!!!

Judged

But back to appearance. We are all judged on it. What’s the first thing someone sees when they meet you? I wish I could say it was your heart, your inner beauty, your good intentions, your kindness. . . all of that. But it’s not. It’s what you look like. If the person meeting you is a good person, then what you look like shouldn’t matte. It does. Trust me on this one. When you meet me, you see a chubby old lady who is not pretty and has shitty hair. I am NOT downing myself; I’m just being honest.

Why Does It Matter So Much?

I wish I had a good answer for you. The younger the generations get, the more appearance seems to matter. I’m not picking on the Kardashians, honest, but what do they have to offer except for (enhanced) T&A? They put on a good show of being a “normal” family, but they are, in fact, further from that truth than most. So what makes them appealing? LOOKS. Pure and simple. Okay, okay. Add in a VERY smart momager in Kris Jenner. She knew how to market those looks into a gazillion dollar empire. But except for looks, what have any of them done to help mankind? If you know of something, please leave it in comments. I would like to hear it. And I’m not saying you have to do things for mankind either. I’m just saying that there should be something more to people than a face or a massive booty.

Fueled by the Makeup & Fashion Industries

Now it’s not ALL makeup & fashion, but those industries really push this need to be like a Kardashian or a movie star or now like an influencer. Either that or. . . you don’t matter. Women go broke buying makeup and clothing to enhance what they have naturally. And if it’s not much, you’re gonna be buying a LOT of it. Don’t believe me? Go to You Tube and put makeup influencer in the search box. You will get hundreds if not thousands, all teaching you how to sculpt that face into something society approves of. And people are buying the products they push, whether or not they know that the person on screen will make money off of it. It’s sales, folks. Just sales. Consequently, most makeup and clothing companies are booming in an economy that is not too friendly to us everyday people.

So What Do You Do?

I honestly don’t know except find a look YOU like and go with that. Some of us will never be beautiful or have bodies that are the stuff of mens’ dreams. Be the best YOU out there. There are no others just like YOU. Why copy someone else? To be accepted? I’m not so sure how satisfying that is in the end, despite it being the thing to do these days. I’m me. I can’t be a Kardashian or a Taylor Swift no matter how hard I try. So do I let it depress me? I used to. (Yeah, I was just as guilty as everyone else.) But not now. I just do the best I can at being ME. And if I’m judged on that appearance, as I know I am, so be it. I’m done trying to be somebody else.

NOW GO OUT AND BE YOU!!!! FIGHT BACK!!! YOU ARE ENOUGH RIGHT NOW!!!!