Appearance, Appearance, Appearance

 General, Good Advice, Minor Rant  No Responses »
Aug 252022
 

The real estate world says the #1 rule for the desirability of a property is LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION. Well, if you haven’t already figured it out, much of what you can get in our superficial society is based on APPEARANCE, APPEARANCE, APPEARANCE.

This is NOT me pushing my appearance insecurities onto you. Nope. They have studies. If you look hot (male or female), your You Tube, Instagram, Tik Tok channel or what have you will grow at an exponential rate over those of us who don’t look like what society calls hot, attractive, gorgeous, sexy or any other word of your choice.  It’s just a fact of life.

Oh, there is one other way to succeed over us mere mortals and that’s to have something really unique, some shtick that you can use to market your goods or photos or whatever. It has to be REALLY different, though, as so much has been tried already. And if you are not what society calls HOT, you can bet your successful channel will be filled with haters who love to pick on people for their appearance. If you have something really new and different and this doesn’t bother you, go for it!!!!

Judged

But back to appearance. We are all judged on it. What’s the first thing someone sees when they meet you? I wish I could say it was your heart, your inner beauty, your good intentions, your kindness. . . all of that. But it’s not. It’s what you look like. If the person meeting you is a good person, then what you look like shouldn’t matte. It does. Trust me on this one. When you meet me, you see a chubby old lady who is not pretty and has shitty hair. I am NOT downing myself; I’m just being honest.

Why Does It Matter So Much?

I wish I had a good answer for you. The younger the generations get, the more appearance seems to matter. I’m not picking on the Kardashians, honest, but what do they have to offer except for (enhanced) T&A? They put on a good show of being a “normal” family, but they are, in fact, further from that truth than most. So what makes them appealing? LOOKS. Pure and simple. Okay, okay. Add in a VERY smart momager in Kris Jenner. She knew how to market those looks into a gazillion dollar empire. But except for looks, what have any of them done to help mankind? If you know of something, please leave it in comments. I would like to hear it. And I’m not saying you have to do things for mankind either. I’m just saying that there should be something more to people than a face or a massive booty.

Fueled by the Makeup & Fashion Industries

Now it’s not ALL makeup & fashion, but those industries really push this need to be like a Kardashian or a movie star or now like an influencer. Either that or. . . you don’t matter. Women go broke buying makeup and clothing to enhance what they have naturally. And if it’s not much, you’re gonna be buying a LOT of it. Don’t believe me? Go to You Tube and put makeup influencer in the search box. You will get hundreds if not thousands, all teaching you how to sculpt that face into something society approves of. And people are buying the products they push, whether or not they know that the person on screen will make money off of it. It’s sales, folks. Just sales. Consequently, most makeup and clothing companies are booming in an economy that is not too friendly to us everyday people.

So What Do You Do?

I honestly don’t know except find a look YOU like and go with that. Some of us will never be beautiful or have bodies that are the stuff of mens’ dreams. Be the best YOU out there. There are no others just like YOU. Why copy someone else? To be accepted? I’m not so sure how satisfying that is in the end, despite it being the thing to do these days. I’m me. I can’t be a Kardashian or a Taylor Swift no matter how hard I try. So do I let it depress me? I used to. (Yeah, I was just as guilty as everyone else.) But not now. I just do the best I can at being ME. And if I’m judged on that appearance, as I know I am, so be it. I’m done trying to be somebody else.

NOW GO OUT AND BE YOU!!!! FIGHT BACK!!! YOU ARE ENOUGH RIGHT NOW!!!!

Less Than. . . . Social Media Jealousy

 General, Less Than  2 Responses »
Aug 222022
 

Social Media. It’s sure changed our lives. I’ve been around a long time and this is like a juggernaut no one can stop or even kick into slow gear. I mean, hey, I was married by the time that first Atari ping-pong ball flew over the net. I remember what it was like before. Maybe not as good in many ways, but maybe better in others. And I know some of you don’t even remember a time before you had a phone in your hand. That’s okay, too, but you have to learn that a lot of it may or may not be real.

Does Jealousy Rear Its Ugly Head?

Are you jealous of everyone and everything you see on Social Media? Do all those great stories of happy families, beautiful clothes, new boats and new homes you see day after day in your news feed make you feel like you’re not worthy? You’re eating a PB&J sandwich for lunch as you see a friend at a restaurant eating something you love but can’t afford. Do you think everyone gets everything EXCEPT YOU? This is a really destructive mindset. Destructive for YOU. Trust me when I say the posters don’t care.

The Age of Fakers

People fake things all the time. You know that anyone can take or snag a pic and post anything they want. Look at the influencers on FB and Instagram. Can we spell P-H-O-T-S-H-O-P, boys and girls? I’m sure there are other programs out there, too, to make them look what society thinks of as perfect. Now if you know people personally, you may be able to figure out what’s real and what’s not. But if it’s someone you’ve admired or just friended on FB, Twitter or other Social Media or you’re fangirling someone on the Gram. . . well, you’re not sure what to think. And if it’s always lollipops and roses day after day, it can make you feel depressed since it’s not happening that way for you. Sure, the hottie and everything about them looks good. In fact, it looks damn fine. Just remember, you can stand in a garage and that don’t make you a car!!!!

Example.  I can get a dupe of a designer outfit for maybe $59 on Amazon, take a drive and stand in front of someone’s million-dollar home, snap some pics and then photoshop my body into what the world wants to see. Does that make it real? NO. HELL NO!!!! But when you come across that shot on my Instagram, you think it’s real and you feel bad cause it ain’t you. Meanwhile, that person collects her/his money for the shots and goes back to that small apartment eating PB&J. You’ve been taken, my friend.

Are You Focused on Money and Things?

If you’re focused on money and things it’s easier to get discouraged when you don’t have one or both. And I DO understand that with today’s current prices it’s easy to be fixated on money. You need it. And you need more of it to live today than you did last year. This is one of my personal demons. I wage war with it daily. And, yes, everything IS about looks in our superficial society. But not all of them look that way or have that much money or that many things. (See Example Above)

So What Do You Do To Get Unjealous?

Different strokes for different folks. I would say the best solution is to limit your time on social media. I know, I know. Much easier said than done. But still. . . it’s the easiest and cheapest solution. And if there is an account that makes you feel particularly bad, delete it, block it, do whatever you have to do to avoid looking at it. You don’t need to feel that sadness and jealousy. It won’t do you any good.

Try getting a handle on yourself. Narrow it down. Do you know why you’re jealous? I mean, REALLY why. In my case, it’s because I know I can never look like some of these folks even with a body transplant. Things don’t mean all that much to me. But if they do to you, you may have some serious work to do on yourself. God forbid you drop on the street tomorrow, all the nice things in the world won’t help. I am NOT judging you. I like nice things as much as the next guy, but I can do without them.

Try to appreciate what you already have. I know for some of you that’s not much, but see what you can do here. Something like, “Oh, that bed in that shot is GORGEOUS, but my own bed is super comfy and snuggles me every night.” If this doesn’t work and you NEED new furniture, maybe pick up a side gig or a second job and start a savings account just for the new furnishings. Just working towards this goal will make you feel better. This works for that extreme cut & color you saw on Ms. Fancy Pants, too. Some of the hair I’ve seen would cost me $500+ to get here and this is NOT a fancy area.

The bottom line here is. . . know that social media is NOT real 95% of the time. It’s a fantasy land even better than Disney’s as Disney’s is fixed in place. This one has infinite variety and possibilities. Folks who have always wanted to be someone now CAN. Or think they can. (Again, see above Example)

BOTTOM LINE: LOVE YOURSELF!!!! Not everybody else and the car they’re standing in front of. Guess what? It may not be theirs.

 

Take a few minutes to listen to this episode of “True Crime Recaps.”
See where unrequited extreme jealousy can lead.