Less Than. . . .Aging

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Aug 082022
 

We all get old. It’s one of those things in life we simply can’t do anything about. So. . . why are you feeling bad about it? I can take a guess or two. Our society puts such a hard emphasis on YOUTH!!!! Girls turning 30 bemoan the loss of their youth. I’m like. . . HUH? Once many women hit 40, they feel they are done for. I wish I could change how they feel, but I can’t. Is this how YOU feel?

GLORIOUS 50

I was told I would never make my 50th birthday. It was the third time I was told to buy the plot and put my affairs in order. But guess what? I’m still here. I was released from the surgeon the night before my 50th birthday and I went around screaming, “I’M 50!!!!” at anyone who would listen. LOL And then, I think, they were ready to call the men in the little white coats. My 50s turned into the best decade of my life. I was stronger than I’ve ever been. I could move without (much) pain. I attempted things I’d never done before. I was rockin’ and rollin’ up until. . .

60 SUCKED

I turned 60. I swear, the Old Age Fairy smacked me hard upside my head with her wand. All of a sudden, I looked 10 years older and felt 20 years older. Things went downhill at a rapid pace. I had aches and pains in places I never knew I had places. My skin went south. It was like being dumped into old age without a parachute. I was totally miserable. What to do?

FIGHT BACK!

It wasn’t until the last year or two that I am finally coming into ME, the person I was meant to be. I’ll be 70 in a couple of months and I admit that’s making me sit up and take notice. People say, “When we’re older we’ll do this” or “When we’re old, we’ll do that.” Well, I’m OLD NOW. If I’m gonna do it, I better do it. If not now, when?

This is the first year. . . the FIRST TIME IN ALMOST 70 YEARS. . . I’ve dressed trendy. Oh, I always dressed nice even if all I had was one blouse and one skirt. But this year I’m hittin’ the trends. And guess what? I’m wearing crop tops, too. SHOCK, HORROR, GASP!!!! Yeah, there’s a bit of Jabba the Gut hanging out. Don’t like it? Look the other way. 😈

CAN’T CHANGE IT SO. . .

Enjoy it!!!! You have wisdom, you have knowledge, you have more kindness and compassion (at least I hope you do) than we see in the world today. Put it out there! Someone needs it. Smile even if they don’t smile back. Offer to help someone. Trust me when I say that will help you more. Volunteer. My Grandmom lived into her 90s. She used to volunteer at a nursing home helping to feed people younger than she was. She used to scream about it all the time, too, about the old farts who couldn’t feed themselves. But back she went. . . why? Because she knew they needed the help and she was fortunate not to. You are NOT less than because you are old. As Miss Clairol used to say. . . “We’re not getting older, we’re getting BETTER!!!!” Believe it. WHY?

Because it’s true. 😎

Less Than. . . .Family

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Aug 082022
 

What do you do when you don’t fit in with your family? I was born into a family of thin folks with stick straight hair. And here came this little chubbo with very curly hair. No problem. She’ll outgrow the fat stage by 3 or 4. Then we can work on that hair! We can wait it out. Then she’ll look just like the rest of us. Didn’t quite happen that way. And that set up a horrible family dynamic.

My Mom Was Delusional

I like to joke that I would have been the first switched-at-birth case if they did that way back when I was born. Except for one damning thing. . . my face was my Dad’s. If it were not for that resemblance, I swear they would have tried to give me away. There was no way he could deny me. In fact, another joke of mine to cover some of that hurt is that if he ever went to court and told the judge I wasn’t his, he would be arrested for murder as the judge would die laughing. But my Dad wasn’t the problem.

My Mom seemed to think she deserved to have beautiful blonde, light-eyed children. . . that was her mother’s coloring. But she had dark hair and eyes, as did her father and my father. Doesn’t bode well for making blonde, light-eyed kids unless you get some recessive genes whooping it up in the background. One of us has dark hair and dark eyes. I had dark auburn hair and medium-to-light brown eyes. . . . but they were still brown. Didn’t count. And let’s not forget about those curls that she dutifully tried to stick down at every turn.

A Hurt Kid

So here came my less than childhood. I knew my Mom didn’t like me much. She knew I knew it, too, and it made things awkward. As soon as she figured out I was gonna stay fat, she started dragging me to diet doctor after diet doctor. Obviously, none of it worked. Some of it may be throw-back genetics, but some it was the fact that when I figured out what was going on I sabotaged myself. Yep, I said myself. I thought I was hurting her, but. . . kids don’t think straight, especially when they’re eating cookies under the covers at night.

And Now A Damaged Teen

Somehow I managed to grow up. By my teens, I positively hated my looks and, therefore, myself. I starved myself in high school on a bet from a classmate. I won the money, but I got sick and I only stayed that small for a New York nanosecond. Luckily, I met a man who loved me for ME and not for my pants size. I never believed him. I mean, hey, you have to believe your mother, right? She would NEVER lie to you. But he stuck it out with me. It’ll be 50 years this month.

And Then A Damaged Adult

Did all of this color my perception of life? Oh, hell yeah. My Mom passed when I was 61 and I still believed her right up until she took her last breath. I was fat and ugly. My husband tried to tell me differently, but I believed her and not him. I’ve been fortunate in that something. . . I still don’t know what. . . started changing the way I saw myself. All of a sudden I could look in the mirror and not hate the face staring back at me. I’m still working on that, the total acceptance part. I’m doing a LOT better. Will I make it before the end? Film at 11. . .

Your Turn

This is my story. If you have a reason you don’t fit in with your family and/or they weren’t too kind about it, please talk about it in the comments or in a post. It helps to get it out. How do I know that? Been there/done that/bought many tear-stained shirts.

Last Word

It doesn’t have to be fat. It can be ANYTHING that makes you feel less than. Education, financial circumstances, appearance, marital status. . . . ANYTHING or ALL OF THEM. If you feel you fall into the LESS THAN category, please start working on it NOW. Why? Because. . .

You are enough. . . And you are enough RIGHT NOW!!!!